It is only about an hour into the Saturday night milonga, when I get there, but the marathon location is already steamy hot. The atmosphere feels heavy and muddy thick.
I’ve often talked to both leaders and followers about the art of rejection. You see, some people have categorically rejected to dance with me. Being the inquisitive mind that I am, I always wanted to understand. I was looking for anything that would help me understand the rejection as “it is not about me”. Because, secretly, I assume it is a little bit about me.
People always say that women possess an unimaginable tolerance towards pain. I shouldn’t generalize, because there are many shades of women and many kinds of pain, but it is true that women often do not even realize that we have any choice.
Let's get honest here.
Sometimes tango can make me feel trapped in a very unpleasant position. After a decade of dancing as a female leader and teaching countless classes, I can easily say that learning to lead is good for your following. Here is a list of five good reasons for it.
Men often complain about not understanding women. No wonder. It is indeed complicated to be one.
Having a strong sense of nurturing others, taking into account their needs and worrying about hurting their feelings can sometimes turn into hurting one’s own sense of wellbeing. Let me give you an example. Usually the best indication of an excellent leader is the musicality and the dynamics of his dancing.
The amazing leaders are not necessarily the most popular or attractive ones, but they definitely have body movement that is innerly aesthetic, coordinated and looks very comfortable. Excellent leaders are simply beautiful to look at. About 10 years ago, there was an unwritten rule that excellent followers were the ones wearing special "tangowear" and gorgeous comme-il-fauts. This is no longer the case, as tango-tailored clothes have become widely available.
Please, point your heel down while stepping back, follower.
It might feel strange at first, but give it a try. There are at least three advantages to it. |
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AuthorI'm Hannah A. Tomšič from Ljubljana, Slovenia. I'm in love with both leading and following in tango. It is wonderful to explore tango indefinitely and to help others learn. Please, join my quest. Ask a question, tell me your story, make me see another perspective. We are all here to learn from each other. Categories
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